I wandered to hell and back on that last attempt let's have another go.
How can there not be something grander guiding this exixtence when you stop and think of all the things you've done to screw up your life. I mean you start out with this great plan for higher learning and wages and then let one little bump derail the whole thing. You get down, join the masses in day in day out drudgery. And end up falling for the love of your life and devote yourself to helping them succeed. You become STEADY always there never take the chance or expend the effort but somehow you live on. Not neccessarily dead but just kind of auto-pilot . Then boom,
KIDS it still depends on STEADY but you see results in little ways. You have an impact however small.